I spent a few words on Baby Boomers and Generation X, now I want to share about stereotypes and ways we might engage the ‘Millennials.’   I am relying heavily on the book “Myth of the Millennial” by Ted and Chelsey Doering, two pastors who happen to be Millennials.

Some basics:

Millennials, born between 1981-1996 are the largest generation in American history clocking in at 92 million.  They are referred to as ‘digital natives’ because they grew up in the midst of the technology boom.  35% of the Millennial generation has been dubbed ‘the nones’ because they do not identify with any religious affiliation. (this is alarming not only because Millennials aren’t coming to church, but because more Millennials—more than any other generation thus far—do not see a need for religion at all.)

Millennials are the most educated and debt-ridden generation to date.  A typical Millennial has a bachelor’s degree and has also earned a Master’s or is working on it.  They might be supplementing a full-time job with a part time job, or has multiple part time jobs. (Work might not want to give them full time status so they don’t have to provide benefits!)  

They are tired and stressed.  Recycling is the norm rather than the exception.  They are passionate about fighting injustice.  They fall victim to what may be called ‘social media sickness.’  That means they are constantly comparing and evaluating themselves against the ‘perfect’ life that others are posting on social media. 

They value connection.  They fight feelings of loneliness.  They have the ability to access information at lightning speed.  They are going to judge your church website.  If they do decide to visit the church, they will look for how the church is supporting their values: “Did they greet me and make me feel welcome—but not in a scary, overbearing way?  Do they use Styrofoam cups during fellowship time?  Does this community of faith seek to serve the poor and sick?”

They are looking for a community that feels like family and sermons that engage and challenge, and a congregation that takes seriously the command of Jesus to serve those in need. 

The number one stereotype of Millennials is apathy, or laziness.  Millennials are living at home with their parents longer, and putting off marriage on average until the age of 30!  Homeownership and car ownership is down for them as well.   Let’s not interpret that as Millennials not working hard enough.  If a car costs over $20,000, a home over $200,000 and a college education costs $200,000 as well—it’s going to require quite a starting salary to make all that work. 

Another stereotype:  Instant Gratification.  As internet speed increases, our ability to wait decreases.  Internet, fast food, fast communication, emojis, texting.  YouTube, Wikipedia, Google, Amazon Prime, Grubhub!  They can constantly check in on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat.  Millennials never have a dull moment because they have Smartphones!  Waiting seconds is a task! 

The next stereotype:  Entitlement.   We may call them ‘snowflakes’ or the generation of the ‘participation trophy.’  Let’s define entitlement as “the belief that you have the right to a privilege or a thing that you desire.”  It’s hard to blame Millennials on this one—it is probably their parents’ fault.  Parents of course want their kids to be happy.  We don’t want to watch out kids get passed over, not accepted, or dare I say, “fail.” 

The dark side of entitlement is anxiety.  They suffer from generational anxiety.  The big 3 stressors for Millennials: economic pressure, perfection tendency, and social media. 

Participation trophies shielded Millennials from failure.  They weren’t trained to fail- so when it happened it was hard—especially if mom or dad couldn’t fix it!  But with more kids going to college- it became grossly competitive: better grades, better scores, more clubs, more organized sports.  AP, Prep courses, private tutors, travel teams!   

Social Media wreaked havoc on this group.  Why is everyone else’s life so perfect?                      

Millennials are dealing with a higher level of diagnosed anxiety! 

Another stereotype is oversensitivity.  While Millennials may be blamed for being “snowflakes,” it is a human trait to seek out only things or people that bring us comfort.  If we defriend or block everyone who disagrees with us- then we will have created an echo chamber, and we succumb to ‘confirmation bias.’  And if it doesn’t fit within our preconceived framework, then it must be fake news! 

As a pastor, one of the things that I have heard from older members is, “It’s time for me to step back and let the next generation take over.”  Then when they do, we hear, “That’s not how it’s done.  We’ve never done it that way. We’ve always done it this way.” 

So, how do we reach out to Millennials…

Relationships.  One major thing you can do to build relationships is stop trying to build relationships.   This is not an agenda—program—or church growth strategy.   If you approach it that way—you are not building a relationship—you are creating a consumer or client.  Instead create programs that serve the poor and marginalized, opportunities for casual gatherings.  Building relationships is NOT a short term fix.   

The next entry point is Community.  The church has the opportunity to be the community, the extended family, that Millennials are seeking.  Have events but don’t make it complicated.  Keep it simple, include all generations.  Is there something your church can do that is uniquely suited to help people in your community?           

The third point of entry is Mentoring. Connect them with a mentor, prepare them to lead and allow them to fail.  Get tacos or donuts with them.  Is it too late for Millennials?  No.  Will the church look different?  Probably.  Maybe it is time to pivot your ministry.